I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
