remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Success! We fucked roommates!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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