he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
