i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
cat food counts as protein by the way
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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