dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
