omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
