We're facebook friends in real life
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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