I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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