Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
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At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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