yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
