You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize