her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
fuck your aforementioned shoe
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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