i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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