New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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