listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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