hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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