you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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