I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
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OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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