I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
