Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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