You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
ttyl tear gas
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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