Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
