"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
