i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
