I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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