he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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