spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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