My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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