'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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