Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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