everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
