i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
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I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
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God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda