god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life