is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
