omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people