in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize