i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
