Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so let's talk penis.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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