Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
