Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just cropdusted the office
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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