So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
