I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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