dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
