I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
