I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
