You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize