I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
