Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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