so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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