too bad you live with your parents still
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
