Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
