You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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