my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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