You were right. It hurts to walk today.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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