I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
