I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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