It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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