I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize