I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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