so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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