I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
