Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
