Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
